Limbo

There are times in life where we are waiting. Waiting almost for certain events to pass, for certain things to happen, so we can be the 'real us'. So we can finally have the power to yield what we want from life.
This may be for us to get a certain career, money, to move.
For me right now I am living with my ex partner far away from my friends and family.
I feel like I know when I move into my own place in June/July I can start putting things in practice, like saving money for travelling, painting, reading, meditating.
But at the moment I feel I am playing the waiting game, watching the clock tick so I can transform like Cinderella into a new-improved me.
This never pans out, the clock strikes 12 and we realise things can't always be rosy forever.
But really does that have to be the case? I want the clock to strike 12 and for me to live forever in my metaphorical ball gown with my princess on my arm to dance under the stars. And for once, I believe in this fantasy. Dreams do come true. But its about not giving up on them.

My mum is a person who has had a had life full of what she calls disappointment. Wrong decisions or following her head instead of her heart means she now is a complete disbeliever. A disbeliever in everything I believe in more than anything: magic, dreams, and most importantly love.
She once told me love doesn't exist, and I couldn't believe that she had given up on love.
I don't care how much she tells me these things, I will not move away from my beliefs as what is a life without believing in love?
Even in this break up I believe in love still.

Anyway, what I am trying to say is sometimes we have to play the waiting game. Sometimes life seems like one way, when really something great is coming along.
I do not mind waiting. I feel alone and isolated and a lot of the time helpless, but I know that great things are coming. Thing is I am my own fairy godmother, I am going to make these things happen. Just lifes rules and regulations are currently holding me back.

I will never, ever stop believing in love.
I will never, ever stop dreaming.