Reincarnation

So I took a step. I am no longer locking myself away, I am not going to make a prison in which I am my own room mate and guard.
No.
Instead I am going to accept that right now, I am sometimes sad.
I am going to allow myself to be human. Give myself permission to feel emotion. Thats the good and the bad.

I am doing much better.
I am now on a recovery weight gain diet, not because I am underweight, just to get myself to a better, even healthier weight. I am positive about this, about finally leaving it behind. As I often think I am recovered, but then little things like not choosing what I always want makes me realise no. Perhaps it still has some control over me. Not dangerously, just slightly.
But I don't want it to have control over me. None. I am going to free myself from this enduring burden on my back and laugh in its face as I walk away.

Goodbye eating disorder. Take this.