Where am I?

I am completely swallowed up by a dark cloud right now.
My pain resides deep within my heart and it chokes me up far too often.
I cry, so much. And it hurts. I spent yesterday hiding underneath my duvet hoping that if I stay there I just won't exist anymore.
Yet no one knows the pain I am currently in right now. And as I sit in my little room, I wonder how someone can feel so alone in a city full of people.
I never felt alone when I had my ed, in fact I prefered it that way. If I had no friends I wouldn't be put in food situations and I wouldn't have to hide my ed. It made life much easier, being just me.
And I longed for that yesterday. Not my ed, but to be able to survive on my own. As life is much simpler that way.

But thats not an enriched life. And I am glad I can feel, as feeling makes me human.
I have no idea where I am or what I am doing, but I definately know that no matter what, I am not doing it with my eating disorder.